Monday, March 28, 2011

"Faith and Infertility"

Have you all seen the excellent article in the April Ensign? I have a number of friends who struggle with this, and I've often felt that I've been an inadequate friend in this area. It's just such an unfair thing. We all have righteous desires, and sometimes those desires just are not met. It is one of the great ironies of life that some of the people who I know would be the best parents EVER (the V's, for example), don't get to have the blessing of children right now. And I remember going to lunch with them when I was barely pregnant with Dean, and almost wanting to apologize for my fecundity. Because I wanted them to have that happiness too. And I know that she would think that's silly, because she's such a compassionate, charitable person, that she is thrilled for our growing family. But as a friend, I didn't want my happiness to cause them even an iota of regret for that which was not theirs.
But you know, we all experience something of that. There are things that we all desire that we cannot yet have. When Luke was having his worst health problems, I remember pleading on my knees for some sort of resolution, and nothing happening - for years. I ached and cried and was sometimes resentful and often wondered what we could do better to have this taken away from us. But sometimes the Lord sees fit to allow His will to be done by not removing a burden. I really enjoyed the quote one sister shared in this article. "When someone has an ailment or an illness [or a trial] and they are healed [or the trial is lifted] as the result of a blessing, their faith is being strengthened. But for those who aren't healed but continue faithful, their faith is being perfected. The first is a faith-promoting experience. The second is faith-perfecting."
I wish that those I love could have all the desires of their hearts. I hope that those struggling with infertility are met with compassion on all sides. I hope I can be a better friend.


Allison said...

Amanda, we love you. You have been an amazing friend to me and you can bet I tore open the plastic lining when I saw that article title this month. ;)

Really, though, seeing how much Matt laughs when I tell him about Laurel's "fairytales" or hearing him ooh and aah for a minute straight over a picture of our niece makes me so hopeful because I know those blessings will absolutely be ours someday. Seeing the joy others get from their children helps us keep going and realize that all of the sacrifices we'll have to make to get there are absolutely worth it.

I was asked to speak in Sacrament meeting last month about "patience" - perfect, right? One of my favorite quotes from my research came from Elder Wirthlin: "The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude." We really will all have to learn that lesson in life - our opportunity is just here now.

Thanks for sharing this ... it really means a lot to us.

Debbie said...

Thanks for this. Really . . . thank you. :)

anna said...

what a great post! I think we all carry heavy burdens and we need to remember love and sensitivity with others. My favorite line from any hymn: "In the quiet heart is hidden, sorrows that the eye can't see." (Lord, I would follow thee)

Thanks for the reminder!

Lianne Barr said...

I am so glad you wrote about this. I have had some of the same thoughts. I'll have to check out that article. Thanks for sharing. You are so awesome!